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  • Writer's pictureEsra Yagiz

Control: What we can and can not

2020 hit the world like a wrecking ball. We all know at least one family that has suffered a loss due to Covid. Some have lost their lives, their health; while some have lost their jobs and financial security. One way or another these losses have been acknowledged and in some cases aid has been given.

Meanwhile, the silent loss has been those who feel they have lost control of their own future, their plans and the sense of "normality". These sufferers feel alone and unjustified and even may feel guilty. After all they are healthy, alive and are still working. The most difficult age group has been teen agers to young adults. The world is looking bleak to them. Just when things were starting to look a bit better with Covid, the war in Ukraine started, shaking Europe. If one lesson is to be learned, it is the fact that we have no control of the things happening around us or how other are treating us. Decisions are made, mandates are put into place, others talk and we are made to juggle all the variables to make our lives as pleasurable as possible.

We may not have full control for the happenings around us but we do have control of our biggest asset. Our thoughts and our reactions. Basically our brain. It sounds and actually is easier said then done. This is when counseling helps.The best way to extract our thoughts is by talking and analyzing our reactions. Once we can understand where some of these thoughts come from, we can start tweaking the beliefs into something more reliable. Sometimes looking at the full map rather than the directions to our paths can give us a better understanding of how to react and how to absorb the situations around us.

Once we realize that we actually have not lost control, but never had it in the first place, we can then understand that we are the conductor of our reactions. This is the best control to have and regulate.

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